Seven-Year-old Quick to Anger
“I have a 7 year-old child that is quick to anger (unfortunately, I know where he gets this). Often this anger is directed at his younger siblings. I think he bottles up his feelings to some extent and then unleashes it on them in the form of hitting, usually. Often times it’s about the fairness of a game or if they are not doing things the way he wants. Help! I feel like I’ve tried everything (even hugs) and don’t seem to be getting anywhere.”
— Karen
Thank you, Karen, for your question. Here are some Positive Discipline–based insights and suggestions to help manage anger and build skills for problem-solving and cooperation:
At 7 years old, children often have limited outlets for tension and strong emotions. Modeling calm behavior and naming feelings helps them learn self-regulation.
Tip: Keep sentences short (10 words or less) and show emotions physically to gain attention and teach coping.
Involve your child in planning daily tasks or chores, e.g., “We need to get groceries, how should we handle this?” This builds significance, belonging, and cooperation.
Tip: Give feedback like “I appreciate your help” to reinforce positive engagement.
Regular family meetings teach problem-solving and give children a voice in decisions. They learn belonging, cooperation, and creativity.
Tip: Place urgent or less important items on the next meeting agenda to avoid conflict in the moment.
Instead of sending children to time out as punishment, offer a Positive Time Out they choose when feeling overwhelmed. It’s a calming space with comforting items.
Important: Once hitting has occurred, punishment doesn’t work; instead, focus on planning and problem-solving afterward.
- Let him know hitting isn’t okay and brainstorm alternatives.
- Teach siblings to leave or refuse to play until he is ready to cooperate.
- Ask him to create a plan to make amends and repair relationships.
Tip: Maintain a kind and firm attitude, not disgust or accusation.