Twins—One That Hits

Mary Hughes explains:

• Twins may have different temperaments; hitting often arises from frustration or lack of emotional regulation.
• The “feel good spot” may need reworking: involve the child in creating it with calming items or active outlets like bean bags, music, or favorite toys.
• It’s normal for young children to act impulsively; early intervention and teaching alternatives helps them manage anger.
• Model healthy ways to handle anger, showing them coping techniques in daily life.
• Recognize the difference between feeling angry (normal) and hurting others (unacceptable).

• Offer active, empowering choices for expressing anger without hurting others: verbal statements, throwing soft objects, running outside, riding a tricycle, etc.
• Teach children to recognize physical signs of anger (triggers) and practice calming strategies like deep breaths.
• Encourage problem-solving: practice asking for turns, sharing, and waiting with visual aids or timers.
• Use role-playing with stuffed animals to demonstrate anger management and alternative responses.
• Special Time: dedicate brief one-on-one moments daily to strengthen emotional connection and reinforce positive behaviors.
• Reinforce consistency, using multiple tools in your parenting “toolbox” rather than relying solely on one method.
• Books and resources, e.g., Elizabeth Crary’s “I Want It” and “I’m Mad”, can help children learn consequences and practice problem-solving.
• Encourage open communication with questions like “What else could you do besides hug your brother?” to guide children to constructive choices.