Preschooler Uses Mean Words

Penny Davis explains:

• Many children say hurtful things when angry or frustrated; your child is not alone.
• Mean words often happen when children want a reaction. Reacting emotionally can reinforce the behavior.
• Your approach of walking away while remaining calm is effective. It teaches that strong feelings are okay but do not control your response.
• Acknowledging feelings helps: “I see you are really angry at me. Come find me when you’ve calmed down.”

• Consistency is key: discipline is teaching, not punishment. Children need repeated modeling to learn self-control.
• After tantrums, if your child apologizes, graciously accept it. This reinforces learning and accountability.
• During calm moments, discuss frustrating situations: “When you’re mad, what could you do or say instead of yelling?”
• Positive Discipline encourages collaborative problem-solving, mutual respect, and encouragement over punishment or reward.

• Continue walking away calmly during misbehavior while maintaining connection afterward.
• Engage your child in identifying alternative behaviors for expressing frustration.
• Prevent copying behaviors by modeling respectful communication and addressing the younger sibling appropriately.
• Consider reading Positive Discipline for Preschoolers for additional strategies with multiple children.
• Reinforce that you love your child, even when limits are enforced.