Unmotivated Teen

Laurie Prusso explains:

• Adolescence is a developmental stage where children seek independence and begin taking responsibility for their choices.
• Strong parent-child relationships are critical; maintaining connection is more important than reacting to every behavioral issue.
• Grades are important, but adolescents may prioritize other interests (sports, social life) over school temporarily.
• Incidents like striking another student may reflect frustration or power struggles; understanding context is key.
• Encourage natural consequences rather than punishment, helping teens learn responsibility.
• Behavior often reflects a child asserting personal power; excessive control or threats can increase rebellion.

• Focus on connection before correction; unconditional love and support encourage positive choices.
• Use curiosity and open-ended questions: ask how he feels about grades, what he wants to achieve, and how he plans to reach goals.
• Help him develop a sense of responsibility for his decisions, allowing natural consequences to occur (e.g., missing practice if grades fall).
• Encourage skill development for independence, problem-solving, and learning from mistakes.
• Discuss alignment of his goals with yours; help him see long-term implications without creating power struggles.
• Model appropriate handling of frustration and conflict; your own behavior serves as an example.
• Resources like Positive Discipline for Teens and The Anatomy of Peace can provide practical tools for guiding adolescents.
• Maintain open communication, encouragement, and respect; this helps teens make good decisions over time.